What do you look for in a woman?

a living stone

I was watching the bachelorette the other day with my wife. Yes, take my man card.  In a conversation between the bachelorette and one of the men a question was asked, “What do you look for in a woman?”

Much like many people I have heard asked this question, the gentleman said “I have no list, I follow my heart.” 

Are you crazy?  How can people not know that there is so much more to a relationship than your heart?  Is this why so many divorce?

Don’t confuse what your eyes like with your heart.   Your heart will deceive you.  If all you do is follow your heart, what will you do when your heart likes someone else? 

If you only follow your heart then you might as well say to a new relationship-I love you for now. I can’t promise to love you in the future.  What I can promise is that it is more than likely that I will leave to love someone else.

Being in Love

“It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both parents ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else. “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”  C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity

Jeremiah 17:9

New International Version (NIV)

 9 The heart is deceitful above all things
   and beyond cure.
   Who can understand it?

Trust in God-Our heart will often direct us to make decisions that satisfy its own desires.  Be very aware of your heart’s desire when it is contrary to God’s word.

Before my wife and I got married we had lots of questions.  Maybe that is why we dated off and on for eight years.  The point is we knew each other. 

One question we had was how we felt about God?

Another was about kids?

We also talked about family.   

Do you or can you love your spouse even when you don’t like them?  Did or Do you have a list?

Joey Costanzo

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